THE "SECRET PLACE" OF PRAYER

Chapter 5 - Man Flees God

I am taking the time to explain all this about other beliefs because everything is so confused today, and so many things are compared with Christian prayer that are not. At that time, when I was not living my walk with Jesus, when I would try to testify or talk about the Lord, many times I was rejected precisely because I was not living what I preached. I did not fit with these people anyway. I was not with them, but I was not with Jesus either – neither fish nor fowl. I consider this my time in the belly of the whale – like Jonah, who also fled from God.

This morning I went to the local bakery, and saw a guy I’d seen before and talked to about the Lord. He began to tell me he believed in positive thinking and visualization. I explained to him the base of positive thinking is the religion I mentioned before, Houma. He thought that what he was doing was Christian! I explained to him what he was really doing. He told me that it worked; I said, “I know!”, but it was not what he thought. I talked to him of the three psychological levels, ego, superego and id, and how you can use the three with creative prayer, and it will have effect. However, it is not what people think; it is not scientific, it is religion over a thousand years old just in Hawaii, and far longer in Egypt where it began, and it is most certainly NOT Christianity. Houma was a secret knowledge one needed to learn – only the initiates were allowed to “practice” it. This technique went from Egypt to North Africa, to India and then even to the Pacific.
Vincent Peale and the like took this and mixed it with the Gospel and introduced it that way, just as yoga is taught today as an exercise and relaxation technique. It is not; it is religious practice.
Houma has two “ways”, a red and a white, which are similar to positive and negative – like the yin and yang of Taoism. The three personality aspects, what psychology calls the id, ego and superego, represent one’s life force, which like electricity, has a positive and negative side. The priest would “charge” an object and use it like a magnet. If he were to touch someone with such an object, the person would receive energy and that energy would appear to heal him. It was similar to magnetism, but was something unknown – I believe an evil spirit; certainly science has no explanation for how a non-metallic object can be magnetized. The name of this magician is “kahuna”. He taught that if you use your mind and develop your breathing technique you can use the two together as a power called “mara”. It would work like this: you take an image of what you desire in your mind, you breathe ten breaths, and pause, keeping the image in your mind. You do this four times, and you accumulate the energy, mara, then you confess your faith in the energy to do what you ask, and you’ll have it.

The point I was trying to make to the guy is that none of this is new – it’s been being promoted and used for thousands of years. He was most surprised. The “Law of Attraction” book is the latest version of this old saw. But the Law of Attraction is from the Science of Mind people! I hope I didn’t hurt his feelings, but I did have to smile! He was also surprised that I was a real believing Christian, but I knew these things. Nothing in this is Christian, though.

The town we live in is allegedly one of the most “haunted” in the country; not something we like to consider! Many people are fascinated by this today as well – one might almost say obsessed. We see a lot of this on TV now and in movies, such as The Sixth Sense. People are thirsty for the supernatural. If I lose someone, and I don’t know Jesus, and someone tells me it is possible to communicate with my lost loved ones, I will most likely want to do that, if I believe it is possible. For many of these, their problem is the pain of grief – they want to know their lost one is “okay”. There are also real mediums, who actually can speak to spirits whom they believe are the dead. In reality, these people do not know to whom it is they speak, but this is what they believe, and they do receive messages. Then there are others who are fakirs, who simply make hay from the misfortune of their more naïve brethren. Then for some the idea of a ghost is a hobby they like to look into, a joke or purely intellectual interest in an unusual occurrence. In North Africa the village I lived in, in Boulangerie, my Mamma told me I was a special child because I was born in a caul. This is simply a superstition that people have believed for centuries. I liked the idea because it made me feel special, but it is actually meaningless! I became special when I came to know Jesus! In my village, there were people who spoke to their ancestors, and people who talked to spirits. These were two different things. Many tribes and peoples have spoken to or worshipped their ancestors; this is the spirits of men who have lived. People who desire to speak to spirits, not of their own family, are usually looking for power over others or to know the future. Ghosts are a different thing; often believed to be the spirits of persons who died under circumstances of heinous crime or mystery and are “stuck” as it were in the physical world, and not where they ought to be.

None of this is new of course, these things are mentioned in the Bible as well, and I want to talk about them. In order to understand what prayer really is, we must also understand what it is not. Later, we will also need to examine the ways in which people try to contact God, and the ways in which they believe they’ve contacted Him, just because of the result they get. But for now, I want to give you an anecdote from my life during which God showed me something important – I call it, “The Candy Dilemma”.

When I was seven or eight, I went with my mother to see various mediums, for my mother to have comfort about our future. We went to women who read palms, who read the Tarot, Muslim witches that claimed to remove the evil eye, even a lady who had a crystal ball. My mother would see only women, for she said they had the best intuition. Saturday afternoons, we went to the Catholic Church. MY mother was very religious and made me go to catechism classes so I could take my first communion. She had plans for me to go to the Jesuit seminary and become a priest. At church, she always had me dip my little hand in the holy water and make the sign of the cross, and then we’d go to wait for the priest, who had the power to forgive sin. Going to the mediums actually was not a contradiction for us – it was a part of the Catholic tradition. After confession, we’d go to do our penances – 10 for Mary and 1 for Jesus! Then we’d go through the stations of cross, and then we’d have to do more Hail Marys and recite one prayer to Jesus. All this was to be a blessing and a protection for us.

I remember going to see statues of Peter, St. Francis of Assisi, and other saints, and lighting candles and being told to pray to St. Vincent DePaul for help in school. Now I loved the saints, for they showed us movies of their lives, and we prayed to them. Not so different from what the medium was doing, no? At that time, I understood nothing I was doing, because I was too young, but everyone else was doing it and so it was the thing to do! At this time I lived in Algeria, in the city of Ouran, in the Street of the Jews. Of course, we also lived amid all the Jewish traditions, and the synagogue was no problem. Then, from school, many of my schoolmates were Muslim, so the mosque was not odd either. To us kids, knowing nothing, it appeared all were the faith of Abraham! So to us, sorcerers, mediums, priests, they were all the same – all had some special power that we needed to get through life. When I turned 12, though, I had a very special experience before Christmas. In the village where I lived, we all celebrated each other’s holidays, and Christmas was a favorite. Of course, putting up decorations and giving gifts are quite different from celebrating Christmas, but to me at that time, this distinction was in the future.

One afternoon, I went early to church for confession, and I went in front of the nativity scene to make my penance in prayer. I looked at the baby in the manger, and at the animals and the kings, and noticed the donkey with a slot in its head for donations. The church was calm and empty. That day, my maman gave me 5 cents to buy candy; I tell you the truth, candy was my favorite thing back then – still is! On my knees in front of the baby Jesus, I said this prayer: “You are my only friend, my best friend and I love you very much – you are my best friend!” There was nothing but silence between us, very companionable. I put my hand in my pocket and felt the warm coin that was my fortune! I wanted to go very fast after the prayer to buy my bon bons! I asked Jesus if He liked candy too, for I was sure He did! After all, He was my friend. I said to Him I would give Him one of my cents when I returned from buying the candy; however, I felt at that moment something wrong in me, though I did not understand what. At the same time, I looked at the donkey standing there, somehow reproaching me, and argued with it – “No, I won’t give you all my money! I want my candy!” I said to Jesus that I loved Him; I had planned to give Him one of my precious cents! There was a big silence. This was a big discussion of love! I didn’t feel guilty exactly, but the discussion was over how much I loved Him; after all, He was to get one cent after I bought my candy. I thought about the last station of the cross, where Jesus died for me – gave me ALL His Life. I was always SO impressed by this! Yet, it made me think of my deal – one part for love of Him and FOUR parts for love of my candy! That was to be the deal; but He did not give a part – He gave everything. A sweet voice came to my heart, “Give to Him everything, just as He did for you!”

Oh! This must’ve been Satan – God would not ask me to give up something I loved so much! “Jesus, you know how much I love my candy! I want to give you one part – but all? Have no candy? That’s not good for me!” I remember the feeling – fingering the piece of money in my hand – and the incredible fight between the love for Jesus and the love of my candy. I felt the pressure more about Jesus’ sacrifice and began to cry. I said, “Jesus, you can’t ask me this! It is too hard for me!” I looked again at the nativity, Mary and Joseph walking in the cold night, with no one, no place for them, they were alone in the dark. This day, I discovered more than my friend. I discovered my life. A big tear rolled down my cheek, my hand shook a bit, but I took the piece and said to Jesus, “I give you all - all my bon bon!” When I put the piece inside, the donkey’s head nodded up and down and it said “Thank you; thank you!” I received the most beautiful miracle that day – not the sweetness of candy, but the sweetness of love between God and a child. I said to Him, “You know Jesus, I know when I go with you to paradise, you’ll open a candy manufacture just for me!” That would be my recompense.

The day after was Christmas; I woke up with my sister and ran to the tree. My mother bought so much chocolate! It took us a week to eat it all! I truly got it all – the love of God and all my chocolate. Even today when I eat chocolate it reminds me of the sweet love between me and God. Many times in this life, I have tried to make the same deal – one part for someone else and four for me. The fight continued, but I knew that to renounce sin and refuse pleasure, I would receive the sweetness of forgiven sins and the love of my Lord! It is true that the heart of man is an altar of sacrifice. The battle of love – love for Him, or love of the world. So many people today taste only the sweet sadness of sin; the Bible says this turns to gravel after. The Bible says to taste and see that the Lord is Good!
The miracle of miracles is that God heals us of this sickness of love; He healed me of the lovesickness the world brings – love of things, love of self, love of money, even love of candy! At one time in my life I had the candy of wealth, the candy of beautiful clothes, even the candy of beauty through plastic surgery – a big packet of bon bons! Wrapped with Gucci paper and Cartier ribbon! And all those around me waited eagerly to grab some of this candy. But after everyone ate the candy, the package was empty and all of it, the wrapping, the ribbon, all were thrown in the trash, and the bitterness of dissatisfaction sounded in the solitude that was my life. And I was very sad! In my sadness, I recalled that day in the church, when after giving everything to my Friend, I opened the door to go out and ran down the street in joy! A joy in which there was no sadness or bitterness of any kind – only a blissful satisfaction. Remember, prayer is not one part for Him and four for me – it is “Take everything you want God, I am your servant!”